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The natural way of thinking that would emanate in your thoughts, because it would in your lover's, would be to blame your spouse. 'What has happened to the guy/girl? Why is he/she not showing just as much curiosity about their bond as he/she did earlier'? These may be the pattern of questions arising in the minds of both of you. When we understand that something isn't the actual way it should be, our first impulse will be to hire a roofer that will put the culprit on. It is that you are carrying huge force on your shoulders and have a strong urge to unload it on the shoulder of another person. But when lovers tend to unload their burdens on each other's shoulders, obviously, neither is certain to get any relief.